There’s a romantic myth about traveling: that when you see the world, meet new people, experience things previous unexperienced, you end up “finding yourself”.
And so there I was, at the end of my time in Europe, wondering if I had ever “found myself” and what that even means.
In many ways, 5 months on from when I left Australia, I was more uncertain than ever about what I want to do in life. Do I want to practice law, in the traditional sense of that word? Do I actually want to work for the government? Do I want to move to Canberra? Do I even want to live in Australia?
But here is what I know. I know that I want to keep writing. Not necessarily to become a novelist, a blogger, a journalist, but simply to keep writing like this, for my own sake. While I was on the road, not a day went by without me wishing I had a laptop at my disposal to tap away at.
I know that however uncertain I am about becoming a lawyer, my structure of thinking, my values, my language and work ethics have all been shaped by this discipline, and I intend to put it to good use.
I know that home is where the heart is. And wherever I go in the world, wherever I end up, Australia - Melbourne - continues to tug the strings of my heart in a way that makes me stuff spoonfuls of milo powder in my mouth when I am having a bad day.
I know that food and wine are important things in life. As are the ethical choices we make concerning food. The gradual realisation of this had me reconsidering my consumption of animals. But that of course, is a whole other topic.
So what does all this mean? Have I “found” whatever I was searching for, if anything at all?
The last thing I know, as I left Europe on a new journey homeward, is that traveling isn’t a real life version of “Eat, Pray Love”. I wasn’t tired of the grind of everyday life when I left Australia. I didn’t have a spasm of epiphanies standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. I didn’t find eternal love. The meaning of life didn’t just suddenly dawn on me while I crossed the strait of Gibraltar. I didn’t have a Hollywood ending to show for my travels.
But I was going home with a suitcase full of shopping, a few thousand photographs, new friends, shared memories … I was going home inspired, energized, determined to make the most out of the next phase of my life, determined to do certain things differently this time.
I was going home.
xx
